Secrets to a Fulfilling Life

The world is frantically searching for fulfillment.

The arts, entertainment, and recreation market in America alone is worth $372,000,000,000 (that’s billion), according to a statistic from IBIS world.

People seem to spend their whole lives chasing entertainment and comfort and pleasure and delights of all kinds. They can get most of these things, but still the depression, anxiety, and suicide rates remain high.

Fulfillment is more than a desire. It is a need. Why is it so hard to find?

From what I can tell, there are at least four common misconceptions about fulfillment, four keys to a fulfilling life, and one secret that makes a huge difference.

Let’s go through this. (And I’d love to hear your thoughts about this too.)

First off: what is fulfillment, or satisfaction?

Fulfilled means content, happy, or at peace. People often say, “I feel fulfilled at this job” or “in this relationship” or “working on this project”. They mean, when they are there, they don’t feel the desire to be elsewhere. Fulfillment is hard to define, but we all know it when we feel it.

I’ve noticed several misconceptions about it. Here’s the truth that I hope will clear those up.

Four things fulfillment is not

1 – Fulfillment is not a one-and-done thing.

It literally means “to be filled full”. Even if you eat until you’re full, you’ll get hungry again before long. Fulfillment is the same way.

If you look for one thing, one experience, one high, to fill you for the rest of your life, you simply won’t find it. Fulfillment comes in little pieces.

2 – Fulfillment does not mean only happiness all the time.

Fulfillment is deeper than that. Fulfillment is the comfort of knowing you’re where you’re meant to be. If you are where you’re meant to be, there will be both happy and hard things about it.

3 – Fulfillment does not mean always giving yourself what you want.

I know, it’s counter-cultural. Think of the song 7 Rings by Ariana Grande. “I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it…whoever said money can’t solve your problems must not have had enough money to solve ’em.”

You get the impression she believes that, if you have enough money, you’ll be fulfilled, because you can get whatever you want.

But here’s the problem—the more you get, the more you crave.

She proves the point when she says retail therapy is her “new addiction”.

So new things are a great entertainment…but they don’t bring fulfillment.

4 – Fulfillment does not depend on your circumstances.

It’s easy to believe everything should go perfectly for you to be happy; that the better your circumstances are, the more fulfilled you are.

But regardless of how much you have, how well you’re treated, or how easy your life is—it could always be better. And it could always be worse.

Fulfillment doesn’t depend on your circumstances.

It depends on your response to them.

Okay—we’ve gone over what fulfillment is and what it is not. Next:

Four important keys to a satisfying life

1 – A higher reason why.

It’s impossible for me to talk about fulfillment without talking about God. God designed us to need fulfillment and to find it in him.

A friend told me about her experience in Ecuador. On the coast, the people lived in bamboo shacks. They made about fifty cents a day. They only got one good meal a week.

And yet, she said they were happy on a whole other level. When she’d go into the church, everyone had a huge smile like they’d won a million dollars.

How?

Since they have nothing else, my friend said, they go to the Lord for all their joy.

“For I will satisfy the weary soul,” God says in Jeremiah, “and every languishing soul I will replenish.” (Jer. 31:27). And in another place, “Those who seek the Lord lack no good thing.” (Psalm 34:10).

I’ve personally seen God do amazing things. The Lord has met my needs, met my desires, and surprised me with incredible things over and over again. He’s just the most wonderful person, the sweetest friend, the strongest defender I’ve known. It’s a privilege to live for him.

Living for God really just means doing life with him. When he speaks, you listen. When you pray, he listens. You’re fulfilled in God as you do all the little things. “Whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.”

2 – Personal responsibility.

I saw this question recently: “If you had nobody to blame for anything in your life, what would you do differently?”

That question gets me every time. You can aim for the highest calling in the world…but you won’t make it far without being responsible.

Let’s say you’re driving to work. It takes twenty minutes to get there, so you leave home twenty minutes before your shift. Traffic is awful. You arrive ten minutes late. (Something just like this happened to me, by the way.)

What do you do? Tell your boss it was traffic’s fault, or apologize for being late? You now know you should have left home earlier. Blaming traffic fixes nothing. You’re still late. It is okay to mention the traffic, so long as you acknowledge you were partially to blame. And if you acknowledge your mistake, you’ll be careful to avoid making the mistake again.

That’s personal responsibility. As you cultivate that lifestyle of responsibility, you’ll become someone who can be counted on. You will quickly climb the ranks of any job or organization in which you are a part. You will then have greater influence and be able to do more good for more people, which is very fulfilling.

3 – Expectations.

When I was four, I was at my friend Leah’s house. There were a lot of people there, but I didn’t know why or care. Four-year-olds don’t concern themselves with such things. We sat around a table and started singing “Happy Birthday”.

It’s my birthday! I realized, suddenly thrilled.

We got to the line, “Happy birthday, dear—”… and I sang “Madi” while everyone else sang “Leah”.

Needless to say, my hopes were dashed.

What was the problem? Was the world unfair because it was my friend’s birthday instead of mine? Not at all! The entire problem was my expectation.

If I’d known it was Leah’s birthday, I could have expected she’d have a happy birthday, and then been glad, satisfied, when she did! As it was, my information was wrong, so my expectations were wrong, and that made all the difference.

In the same way, we must ground our life expectations in reality. To do that, you need the right information. If you’re doing anything new, find out what you’re getting into. That way, your expectations will be accurate. You’ll be able to handle the good and the hard things because you saw them coming.

Knowing what you’re getting into helps you have accurate expectations, which leads to a fulfilling life.

4 – Strong Community.

I am so thankful to have great family and friends.

There are few things more fulfilling than holding up a friend in time of need. There are few things sweeter than being held up when you’re in need. Every person goes through hard things. We need each other.

Community can be friends, family, church, or any group that supports you and whom you support with your time and love.

Who is the closest, most reliable friend you have? You should hang out with them soon. Relationships are built one afternoon at a time.

Finally: a powerful secret the world often misses.

We must pursue the source of satisfaction, not just satisfaction itself.

If we live for God and other people, if we step into who we’re made to be, if we resist the cheap temptations the world offers, even when it’s hard…

Fulfillment will certainly come.

That’s a high price.

It’s why the world is so short on fulfillment. Few are willing to see the reward beyond the sacrifice.

But the reward is immeasurable. You won’t have so many regrets. You will have stronger relationships. You will be glad you did the things you’re doing now.

That is a wonderful comfort.

A Journey of a Thousand Miles

Fulfillment is an intricate subject, and I’m sure I’ve hardly scratched the surface. But I hope this helps point you toward deeper satisfaction in your life.

I’m still figuring a lot of things out. There are hard things and easy things, fun things and boring things in my life. I still have mountains to climb and ground to gain. But I am so fulfilled and happy.

There is fulfillment in the process.

So here’s the challenge.

Let’s step back from whatever distractions we’re letting in.

And let’s live for what matters. Take the first step.

I’d love to hear from you.

What things do you think are most important for a fulfilling life? Comment below!