How to Have a Quiet Time in 7 Simple Steps

“Hey, you want to go on a date?”

Your boyfriend (or girlfriend or spouse) is standing in the doorway, holding tickets to your favorite movie.

Imagine pausing, confused. “But…” you begin, “…we’re together all the time. Why would we go on a date?”

It’s a ridiculous example, of course, because it would never happen!

But sometimes that’s how we treat God. Since he’s with us always, it’s easy to brush him off.

But if we want to have a strong relationship with him, intentional time with him is critical–like how going on dates is important for other relationships.

This intentional time one-on-one with God is known commonly as a quiet time.

What is a quiet time?

It’s where the relationship deepens and where life-training happens. It’s where we download the information and encouragement we’ll need to face the day.

It’s like filling up your car with gasoline. Spending time with Jesus is the fuel that empowers us to get through the day with joy and grace.

This is important because…

Those who spend time alone with God regularly get to work with God most powerfully.

The quiet time is an indispensable component of the Christian life. A lot of Christians don’t have one, and they wonder why their relationship with God feels flat.

Even Jesus needed time alone with God to recharge and rest. How much more do we!

Now—for the actual how

The idea of having a quiet time can be intimidating. “I’m supposed to go sit somewhere and and meet with God…how on earth do I do that??”

Thank goodness, it’s not complicated.

I’ve had quiet times nearly every morning since I was little. I’ve tried lots of different things, and from practice and others’ experience, have found a few basic principles that help my quiet time be effective.

1: Go somewhere QUIET

When Jesus had quiet times (Luke 5:16; Mark 1:35), he always went to a desolate place.

I heard of a woman who had a gazillion children and couldn’t get away to somewhere quiet. So she’d sit at the kitchen table, children running everywhere, with a towel over her head.

There’s the story where Elijah was hiding in a cave, and he knew God was about to speak. Wind, an earthquake, and a fire raged outside the cave, but God was not in any of those things. Then there was “a still, small voice.” And God was there.

I have never heard the voice of God audibly, as Elijah did. But many, many times, I have felt the whisper in my heart. It’s been very quiet nearly every time.

I’ve had quiet times every place from closets to cars to the middle of the woods. These days, I usually get my coffee and sit on the leather chair in my room, with the sound machine on.

The point is, we must go somewhere quiet because God is quiet.

2: Expect God will meet you there

Many times, especially when I was younger, I’d get frustrated in my quiet time because it didn’t seem like God was doing anything.

Consider it like spending time with a friend. Sometimes, you have these incredible, deep conversations that leave you in tears. Other times, you’re just washing the dishes while they clear the counters and you’re both silent.

That’s what a relationship with God is like. Some days it’s life-changing experiences, miracles, revelations, or acts of power.

Some days it’s washing dishes.

But either way, here’s a promise you can hold onto:

“You will seek me and find me, when you seek me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13).

If you show up to meet with God, EXPECTING to meet with him, he WILL show up. It just might not look the way you expect.

Just because you don’t have a profound experience doesn’t mean you didn’t meet with God. Just because it’s quiet doesn’t mean he’s not there or that you’re doing something wrong.

It just means sometimes God is quiet.

3: Posture your heart

I, and most people, have a strong inclination to drift from God. It’s not purposeful. It just happens. If you take your hands off the wheel, the car will start drifting off the road. It’s the same thing.

Sometimes, in my quiet time, I notice I’m feeling dull, weighed down, or bored. Usually, I then realize I never thanked God for anything. I just came into his presence and started asking him to give me what I need.

In Psalms it says, “Enter his house with thanksgiving, and his courts with praise.”

There is something about praising God that opens up my heart, fills me with joy, and gives me grace to then seek God out of his Word.

Jesus is a gentleman. He doesn’t want to force his way into your life. He wants to be invited. He wants you to want him.

Remember, this is a relationship, not a formula.

“Speak, Lord, for your servant is listening.”

4: Get Rid of Obstacles

There are a few things that can really interfere with your relationship with God. They are sin, unforgiveness, and not being submitted to him.

Each morning, I try to remember to ask God to search my heart. I don’t want there to be anything displeasing to him in me. God is easy to please.

Just ask him, like David did, “Search me, O God. Try me, and know my anxious thoughts. See if there be any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” Not because you’re in fear of punishment if you don’t, but because he is worthy of your undivided devotion.

We can’t deal with our sin without Jesus’s help. So come boldly into his presence, and ask for help with whatever it is.

It’s not your job to dig around in your heart looking for something to repent of. If you ask Jesus to search your heart, he will. He will gently bring to mind anything you need to repent of, any person to forgive, or any area of life to submit to him.

If he doesn’t bring anything to mind, great!

If he does bring something up, then repent of the thing, forgive the person, or submit whatever he mentioned to him. Then move on with life.

5: Get out the good, old-fashioned Bible

I know, it’s a thick book. But don’t worry! The goal isn’t to finish it. The goal is to learn from whatever little bit you read.

As you keep reading regularly, you’ll find you’ve finished it and then you can start again. (If you want to start reading the Bible, the Gospel of John is a good place to begin.)

It does not take a college education to study the Bible. In fact, when I read the Bible, I don’t think of it as studying at all.

I just read wherever the Lord prompts me to read, and he is the one who teaches me whatever I need to learn that day.

“Call to me, and I will answer you,” says God in Jeremiah, “and I will tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know.”

That is a beautiful promise. Because there are quite a few things I do not know, and I want to learn them.

He often points out connections between passages, shows me a meaning I never noticed, highlights a word in a sentence, or shows me how to implement something into my life.

You are not the teacher. God is. It’s the teacher’s job to teach.

So, if you’ve been putting pressure on yourself to get something out of your quiet time, let it go. You’re free. All you have to do is show up and be ready to learn.

He will do the rest.

6: Pray

Don’t let prayer become a boring religious exercise!

Prayer is where heaven meets earth. It’s how the sons and daughters of light pull down blessings from the storehouses of God. It’s how we overcome the darkness. It’s where we can find strength to endure hardship with joy.

It takes time to cultivate a lifestyle of prayer, to learn how to pray. But that’s okay! Just start praying.

In prayer, we speak with God and share the things on our hearts. And God shares what’s on his heart.

The more in-tune we get to the Spirit of God, the more we notice he is speaking. Ask him a question—and expect he will respond. He loves to surprise us with good things.

God has lots of plans and ideas. Lots of wonderful, grand things he wants to do in the earth. But, often, he won’t do them unless we ask him to. He wants to be asked.

For example, my friend’s knees were causing her a lot of pain. So, several friends prayed God would heal her knees. The youth pastor’s wife had her hand on my friends knee—and as they prayed, she could feel the tendons coming into place.

After that, my friend’s knees were much better.

That’s where prayer becomes amazing.

The more our faith grows, the more we dare to ask for incredible things. The more we ask for incredible things, the more we receive them. And God just loves it.

Nothing pleases him like simple faith.

7: Carry the Momentum of the Quiet Time into Your Day

The quiet time is where we really get our hearts aligned with God’s. The rest of the day can be spent outworking, practicing, the things God worked into us that morning. We can more easily operate out of the right mindset.

The Word calls this abiding, remaining, or walking by the Spirit.

We were designed to abide with God through every detail of life. When we face hardships or joys or distractions or temptations, we can handle it well, because we’re handling it in the power of Jesus.

We’re learning to think like him, act like him, love like him. And THAT is what it means to be not only a Christian–but a disciple.

How often and how long should quiet times be?

It’s like asking, how often or long should a conversation be? There is no one right answer. It’s not an algorithm.

But here are a few pointers to help get you started.

WHEN: Mornings are great. That way, we’re in a better mindset to face the day. This is when I typically have mine. But Jesus spent time with God at varying times. Find what works for you.

HOW OFTEN: Meet with God every day. Consistence is more important than length. If you miss a day, don’t beat yourself up! Just get back to it.

HOW LONG: I have had 90-second quiet times and 3-hour ones. Jesus often prayed all night. If you aren’t getting anything out of your fifteen minutes, try two hours. There is no rule for how long, but it should be long enough that you can relax and not be in a hurry. If you only have time to read one verse, and then pray in the car, God can use that too!

Your relationship with God will be different than mine or anyone else’s. Over time, everyone develops their own preferences and ways to spend time with God.

The most important thing is to keep doing it.

Grace upon Grace

Through going somewhere quiet, expecting God to meet you, posturing your heart, getting rid of obstacles, reading the Word, praying, and carrying the momentum, I hope there is newfound power and joy in your time with the Lord.

A quiet time can take many forms. This is just the highlights of what helps me the most. It’s simply about building a relationship.

Don’t be legalistic about it, or use this as a list of boxes to check. He just wants you to want him, and he will bless your efforts.

However you choose to have your quiet time, just remember this:

Draw near to God, and he will certainly draw near to you.

How do you connect with God? Comment below! If there are any other questions I can answer on the topic, I’d love to hear them!